you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
