remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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