I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
