Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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