so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
