I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
