carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
