I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
