Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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