dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
