last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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