Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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