if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
