We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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