You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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