my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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