Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
