why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
