There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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