OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
