That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
