Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
