Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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