john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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