good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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