i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
