and you said cock pushups were impossible
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
