so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
