God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
