She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
