i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
