If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
