May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
