It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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