I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
