I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
