Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
