speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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