I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
