'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You smell like stripper and shame
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
