Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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