I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
