i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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