Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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