actually, I'm a sock model
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
