she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
