You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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