its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
