all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
