You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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