I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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