He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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