so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Randomize
