good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
