1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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